Seriously??

I drive fast.  It's what I do.  I can't help myself!  It doesn't matter whether I am early or late, my foot automatically takes me to a minimum rate of speed that my self somehow finds acceptable.  I try not to be a jerk about it, but I would really prefer people to get out of my way.  Sort of like they teach you in drivers' ed.  If you are not passing people, get out of the left lane.

This morning, I was driving along minding my own business at a reasonably fast speed, in the rain, not messing with anybody.  There was no one in front of me in the left lane, and nobody behind me.  As I am almost to the back corner of a minivan, the driver decides that although they have been behind this person for eternity, that exact moment is when they could no longer handle it, and cuts me off!!!!  Oh, the irritation!!!

But wait....it gets better.  How, you ask?  Surely that was bad enough!

After cutting me off because clearly they couldn't tolerate that slow pace any longer, they do 2 miles an hour faster than that car, which takes (in my head) 3 years to pass them.  There should be an ANGRY font.  It should be made of fire and hot coals.  When this stupid silver thing finally gets out of the way, I look over as I am passing, and Large Marge has the nerve to flip me off!!!!!!!!!!!  Are you effing kidding me?????  You have no manners and no courtesy, and you're going to be pissed off at ME??????

I was too amazed to return the favor.  I need an air horn and a large boxing glove attached to the front of my car to smash people like this to smithereens.