Slap Happy

Some days I feel like a ginormous ball of tension that oozes out in little bits of crazy.  It happens to be (mostly) good tension today.  This morning, someone told me "good morning sunshine," which is one of my favorite things to say.  Somehow I transformed that from thinking about 'I love that' to singing "I like it when you call me big poppa...."  Probably I shouldn't share these things in any public forum, but it's too good not to.

On top of all this bouncing around in my head, I am certain that I missed even the possibility of being nominated for mother of the year last night.  My husband works crazy hours, so we have to be creative sometimes to have alone time.  As the lady that had sex with her husband every day for a year pointed out this week, it doesn't matter if it's in a closet; it still counts!  I digress.  Anywho, the kids wanted to go play on the trampoline.  PERFECT!!  It's right outside our bedroom so we can hear if they're still out there, or fighting, or whatever.  So tell me how we've had this thing for fricken' years, and last night when all the adults are naked is the only time anybody's gotten hurt????  How does this happen?  Gah.  So I am trying to get out there quickly because my kid is like paralyzed and all that, and my husband has the damn curtain open.  Umm hello, I can't move from my hidden position until they won't notice that I am naked here!!!!!  Fortunately, the child is ok.  And I am doubly fortunate that nobody noticed that I had my shirt on backwards.  Ha.

Got a loooooong weekend coming up!  Whoop whoop!  I need a camel commercial for Fridays now.  Wednesday is getting all the laughter because everyone can walk around going HUMP DAAAY!!!

Thou Shalt Not Judge

I have been seeing this trend on the internet of people being absolutely hateful about what other people do with their lives, and I find it rather disgusting.  For instance, some chick posted a video of herself "twerking" and people really lost their ish over it.  There were empty alcohol bottles in the background, so clearly she led a terrible lifestyle that led to her being knocked up and didn't know the baby daddy.  All that from a video that this poor girl never even spoke in!!!  Wow.  Cuz dancing is trashy, and certainly nobody ever drank alcohol before.  What???

Anyway, these things put in my mind that I should really try not to judge people.  Like, really try =)  The problem is:  I know some really effed up people!!!!!  I am saddened by the amount of stupidity I come across on a daily basis.  A lot of the time I can sit back and say 'to each their own.'  Sometimes you just can't find a nice way to spin a situation though.  Sometimes people really are just stupid.  Or terrible parents.  Or jerks.  Or, in awesome instances, all of the above.  Then I find myself wishing (again) that I could un-know people.

The Credit Card That Almost Could Buy Stuff

I have been battling for months with our phone provider at work to upgrade our service from the terrible antique analog lines to the new digital lines.  It took forever to set up, and then several attempts to install, and over a month later it still does not function correctly.  Sigh.  As part of this *wonderful* deal (notice the sarcasm identifiers *), we were promised a $100 VISA gift card, which arrived in the mail today.  I was so excited!  ....Except it seems that they have found a way to funk this up also.  You can only use it at the list of approved merchants.  What???  Doesn't the VISA part of that deal indicate that it can be used as a VISA?  It's not a store card or a restaurant gift card; it is normally treated as money and accepted everywhere!!!!!!

Now, I am sure I sound like a spoiled brat right now.  Trust me, I am glad I at least got $100 out of this experience, since nothing else good has come of it.  However, I am more than a little pissed that I can't use this well-deserved pittance on the ALCOHOL that this fiasco clearly warrants.

Who Says Romance Is Dead?

I have been attacked by a terrible, vicious stomach bug this week.  It's really strange, because I am still hungry, and my stomach is even more angry if I don't eat.  Anyway, I feel like death.

So last night, knowing my husband had to go to bed because he leaves in the middle of the night for work, I toughed it out...sort of.  I slept upright on the couch, while the kids watched a movie, and then I went to bed.

How is it that he KNEW I was sick, yet this morning my husband asked me why I hadn't made his lunch?  I can not even muster enough energy to be angry about this.  I am going to have to store it in my memory banks for later.  I hope he understands one day in the future when I throw a random object at his HEAD that he did indeed deserve it.

Why is it that when a man is sick, the entire world stops?  Oh, my neck and my back, I am going to bed...  But when I am sick?  Psh, girl there's nothing wrong with you, make my lunch.  Seriously?  In my next life I really want to come back as a man.

*** To his (ittybitty) credit, he did ask how I was feeling this morning, and then told me I should go to the doctor.  I am not sure how he thinks a dr is going to help a bug.  Is it wrong that in my head he just wants me to be able to make his lunch tonight?