I know it has been a long time since I last posted. Mostly that has been because of a terrible, crazy family situation that I wasn't sure it was appropriate to be discussing. But since this is my blog, where I come to sort myself out, and I don't plan on using names, then I am going to give it a whirl.
We have a family member that is struggling with addiction. This family member has a 5 month old daughter, that has been in my husband's and my care since early January. (As a side note, sleep deprivation may also have influenced the lack of posting. Maybe.) Our whole family has done everything we can all think of to help this person.
Yes, I am aware that using "they" is not grammatically correct, but for the sake of anonymity this person will now be known as "they."
It is becoming apparent that even though they asked for help, they are not ready to receive it. They left the baby in our care to go to rehab. The insurance approved 14 days, which is way more than the normal insurance approves apparently. I feel like that is not enough time to learn the tools to overcome addiction, but it's not my show to run. When they were released, they came to our house to stay, so they could be with the baby and continue in an out-patient program. They don't have a vehicle or a job, so we thought it was fairly safe. Apparently though, when they got out of rehab, they went straight to the liquor store. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight there. WHO DOES THAT???????????????????? I might still be a little angry about that. So, they brought some with them. Once that supply was gone, they went through my house until they found where I had hidden the alcohol we had. Of course, all of this was unbeknownst to us. We thought the drowsiness was due to side effects of medications. But no. For days, we left the baby in their care, and they were drinking heavily the whole time. Once that was discovered they went to stay with a different family member, and the baby stayed with us. But they have been unable to stay clean, so now the family has been left with no choice but to help them get into a shelter. There have been several emergency room visits, and even a near death experience. Even that wasn't enough of an eye opener to get them to stop. They are supposed to be going into a 28 day program as soon as there is an opening and then possibly long term care, but nothing seems certain right now.
I am really struggling with having no control over anything. My instincts want me to take control of the situation and force some action, some help, some gratitude, some honesty, some accountability. I feel like a terrible person for having to step away from this person, even though I know that I am only trying to protect my children, and theirs. We have to protect those that can't protect themselves. This person is a grown up and supposedly should be able to make their own decisions. Truly, I get that. That does not make it easier. Not a teeny tiny little bit.
Yesterday I went to pick them up so they could see the baby for the day, but when I got there they were drunk. I had to leave them there. In the cold. With no place to go. I have never felt so terrible or miserable in my entire life. I felt shattered; like I was turning my back on my family. There wasn't another choice. The baby was in the back seat, crying. My children were home. They were told that they could only come if they were sober. This is a choice they made. And still I feel terrible.
