Random Musings

Goooooooood morning!!!

Today inside of my head feels like a badly written sitcom.  I am not sure if it's too much allergy medicine, my children sucking the sanity right out of me, or if I am just plain losing my marbles.  Regardless, here are some of the highlights from my morning.

The cicadas are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Aaaaaaaah!  Run for your lives!!!!!!
Now that we have that out of the way.........
They are here.  For real.  This morning when we went to leave, there were little dead body shells all over the driveway, and the cicadas were hanging out on the tires of my car.  Weirdos.  Now, I don't really have any issue with them.  I prefer not to hang out and make friends, but I don't really feel the need to freak out. Except today I am wearing flip-flops, and I had to maneuver around dead bug carcasses.  EWWWWW.  And because I have small children, I try to maintain composure about things like this.  You know, when there's a bee, and on the inside you just know that it's going to sting us all and we're going to magically develop an instantaneous allergy that we've never had before and all of us will fall dead on the spot, but you stay all calm and use your magic mommy voice to tell your kids to not freak out and the bee will leave us alone.  Same thing.  Can't the cicadas stay on the grass where they belong???  Don't they know that my PAVED driveway is not part of nature?  It's man-made.  Not your territory.  Go hang out on the tree that is maybe 5 feet away, and stop littering my driveway with your shells.  Because God knows, my foot might fall off if my naked toe touches a cicada body.

To top off that near death experience, both of the kids had meltdown morning.  To put it mildly, that means that both of them had near death experiences also.  I have never been so happy to get to work.  Alone.  I have been sitting here for a long time enjoying the quiet.  Don't tell anybody; people might come talk to me then.

On the way here, I saw a car with Montana tags.  We live near several military facilities, so seeing out of state tags is not uncommon, but I had never seen one from Montana before.  At the top, it says that Montana is the "Treasure State."  This, friends, made me laugh out loud.  I feel like that is a trick to try to get people to go there.  Nobody ever says, Oh, I'm going to Montana.  So, to get people intrigued they call themselves the treasure state.  The only thing that could've made that better is if there were a little map with a big red X.  Nothing against anybody from Montana.  I am sure it is a wonderful place.  I would like to go there someday, but I do not expect to do so pirate-style.

For the record, I am an equal opportunity hater of state slogans.  For example, I live in Maryland.  The "free state."  Says who???  They are taxing the RAIN here now.  Virginia, they say, is for lovers.  The only thing I can tell that they love is bad driving.  See?  I hate everybody =]

Stupid Phone

I own a smart phone.  Except not.  It actually doesn't do most things that I would like for it to do, and frequently acts stupid.  The most maddening thing of all is that it insists upon sending messages to more than one person as a MMS message that when replied to by any member of the group sends that response to EVERYONE.  And now I feel like the ass for sending it that way, even though it would take a million years to send the entire team a note that the game is cancelled.  But I just know that all of the parents are ready to chop me up into little pieces because they have gotten a half dozen 'thank you' responses.  I am considering asking for witness protection.

Your Kid Is No Angel

Recently I have noticed a new phenomenon where parents defend their kids to the bitter end, even if that guy is a complete a-hole.  Say the school calls and says that little Johnny poked somebody in the eye with his pencil.  Instead of little Johnny getting the a$$ whipping he deserves, the parents spend every waking moment blaming the other kid for looking at him funny, the teacher for letting him have a pencil, the school for having teachers that would allow such craziness, and....well probably we could trace it all the way back to the hospital for not testing his hearing properly when he was born.  Does it ever occur to these people that their kid just might be an a-hole???  I mean, I go through life expecting that there will be some percentage of people that my kids just won't get along with.  I feel like that is normal.  Different personalities clash.  But if my kid is screwing around, bet your bottom dollar that he is going to be held accountable for his own actions.

Is there ever some point where it is appropriate to tell these parents that not only is there kid an inconsiderate brat, and that you're sure you know where they are getting it???  Apple, tree maybe??  Probably not, but I am going to give it a whirl.  I will post the results, ahaha!

Technology Dependence

Our email at work is not functioning properly.  I. CAN. NOT. HANDLE. IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am so ready to jump.  From a very tall building.  Well, maybe not.  I am ready to drop my computer off of a very tall building!  I NEED my emails to come into my Outlook and be friends with all of my other emails.  Immediately after sent.  Not 3 hours later.  And yes, I can sort of check them on-line, but it is not the same.  [Insert temper tantrum]

It is a shame that this is what I have become.  I know that I should be able to function and be productive, yet I find myself pushing that damn send/receive button repeatedly.  Then I mope when it doesn't work or celebrate when it does.  Please let this day end soon.

To top it off, I called tech support.  That statement there should be enough.  The first time they told me they know there is an outage and they are working on it, but have no estimated time that it will be working.  Then I realized that I wasn't getting all of the emails on-line, so I called back.  The guy actually asked me if he could log in to my computer remotely to make sure I was refreshing correctly.  Are you serious right now???  No!!!!  I understand how that green thing works.  I am not a complete fricken idiot!!!  And then later it occurred to me that there must be people that stupid if he has to ask that.  What is happening in this world?

Sounds like...... well, no.

I was SUPPOSED to be on an awesome field trip today.  Due to the bombings yesterday, the school board cancelled all field trips out of our county.  Now, some would say that is a safety first kind of attitude.  And I agree....if we lived anywhere near there.

The bombings were in Boston, Massachusetts.  We were going to Baltimore, Maryland.  So far the only thing I have been able to link is that they are both B cities in M states.  Not the same B city or M state though.

Why are we teaching our children that when something bad happens we need to hide under our beds?  We are supposed to teach our kids to be scaredy cat nancies now???  Oh no.  Not me.  We are not going to stop living because there are bad people that do bad things, because guess what folks....we would never leave our house!!!!!!!!!!

Absentee Blogger

Helloooooooo!!!!

Man, I have been MIA for too long!  There have been so many things going on in the last few months, that I didn't really feel it appropriate to discuss here.  My emotions have been running too high, and I tend to sort of explode in those times.  So, I have taken a LOT of time to try to refocus my thoughts.  I have read wisdom from others.  I have talked to people.  I have PRAYED.  For the most part I think I have managed to maintain my sanity, even if I do have an enormous amount of anger that I am sure will never be worked out.  Which brings me to my next thought.....

How in the world am I supposed to move on with any sort of regular relationship with someone who has wronged me and my family?  None of the wrongs have been addressed, the person has not taken any responsibility what-so-ever for their actions, there has not (and probably never will be) any apology or any attempt to make it right.  To top that off, this person tried to put guilt on us for doing the right thing!!!  I am the guy that says screw you pal and writes you off.  But seeing as it's not my place to do that this time, I am left with a ton of confusion.  Do I even have any right to demand any sort of closure?  Or do we all just go with the flow here?  For now, I have one word:  stupid.

So now we are setting back into regular routines, just in time for schedules to get crazy with baseball.  AND my husband gets to go back to day shift, so I might actually get to see him some!  I am super excited about that!  It's been really tough not having him in the evening.  Not really that I can't handle the daily grind by myself, but I miss him terribly.  I do wish we could squeeze a get-away in soon, but I don't think our schedule is going to allow that.  We have too many things that we have had to push to the side recently anyway, so we need to get back to the projects we should have been working on.

I get to chaperone my oldest's son's class field trip tomorrow to a science center!  I am super excited!  He has really been into science lately, and I think we are going to have a lot of fun.  Hopefully I survive.  His class is all boys, so it should be interesting =)

Things That Are Beyond My Control

I know it has been a long time since I last posted.  Mostly that has been because of a terrible, crazy family situation that I wasn't sure it was appropriate to be discussing.  But since this is my blog, where I come to sort myself out, and I don't plan on using names, then I am going to give it a whirl.

We have a family member that is struggling with addiction.  This family member has a 5 month old daughter, that has been in my husband's and my care since early January.  (As a side note, sleep deprivation may also have influenced the lack of posting.  Maybe.)  Our whole family has done everything we can all think of to help this person.

Yes, I am aware that using "they" is not grammatically correct, but for the sake of anonymity this person will now be known as "they."

It is becoming apparent that even though they asked for help, they are not ready to receive it.  They left the baby in our care to go to rehab.  The insurance approved 14 days, which is way more than the normal insurance approves apparently.  I feel like that is not enough time to learn the tools to overcome addiction, but it's not my show to run.  When they were released, they came to our house to stay, so they could be with the baby and continue in an out-patient program.  They don't have a vehicle or a job, so we thought it was fairly safe.  Apparently though, when they got out of rehab, they went straight to the liquor store.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight there.  WHO DOES THAT????????????????????  I might still be a little angry about that.  So, they brought some with them.  Once that supply was gone, they went through my house until they found where I had hidden the alcohol we had.  Of course, all of this was unbeknownst to us.  We thought the drowsiness was due to side effects of medications.  But no.  For days, we left the baby in their care, and they were drinking heavily the whole time.  Once that was discovered they went to stay with a different family member, and the baby stayed with us.  But they have been unable to stay clean, so now the family has been left with no choice but to help them get into a shelter.  There have been several emergency room visits, and even a near death experience.  Even that wasn't enough of an eye opener to get them to stop.  They are supposed to be going into a 28 day program as soon as there is an opening and then possibly long term care, but nothing seems certain right now.

I am really struggling with having no control over anything.  My instincts want me to take control of the situation and force some action, some help, some gratitude, some honesty, some accountability.  I feel like a terrible person for having to step away from this person, even though I know that I am only trying to protect my children, and theirs.  We have to protect those that can't protect themselves.  This person is a grown up and supposedly should be able to make their own decisions.  Truly, I get that.  That does not make it easier.  Not a teeny tiny little bit.

Yesterday I went to pick them up so they could see the baby for the day, but when I got there they were drunk.  I had to leave them there.  In the cold.  With no place to go.  I have never felt so terrible or miserable in my entire life.  I felt shattered; like I was turning my back on my family.  There wasn't another choice.  The baby was in the back seat, crying.  My children were home.  They were told that they could only come if they were sober.  This is a choice they made.  And still I feel terrible.